i try moving forward.
It feels like i'm tied to a freight train.
Like i can go no farther.
Am i trying hard enough?
i realize i can't do this by myself.
It hurts each attempted step.
The scars scream with pain every time they are revealed.
One step forwards.
Two steps back.
Everything is lost save what i need the most.
Just enough.
Not too much.
Not too little.
Will they vanish too?
Into the air like the others?
Are they here for eternity?
i shall keep pressing on this track before me until its time to go home.
It is apathy, Lord?
Do i not care for the loved pieces left behind?
You do.
And You took them.
i don't need them.
All i need is You.
-------------------------------------
"Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
~2 Corinthians 12:8-10~
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
First 6 Worship Journal Entries
Worship Journal Entry #1
9.8.10
This past weekend I had the opportunity of attending my home church’s family camp. It was a wonderful time of fellowship and growing together in oneness in our Savior. During one session, my pastor talked about being missional in purpose. Being missional in our worship is the key. Why do we worship? So we can spread the Gospel through our proclamation of His glory! The Bible did not create the mission of the Gospel, but through the Gospel’s mission emerged the Bible. The Bible aids us in helping us to know what true worship is like.
Through the mission came the Bible, through the Bible came instruction on how to worship, and through worship, we spread the Gospel which is the mission.
----------------------------------
Worship Journal Entry #2
9.17.10
In Worship Studies class the other day, we talked about what is blocking us from seeing what true worship is. One thing my teacher, Mr. Shuholm, pointed out was the term: “assumed intimacy.” When we go to church as worshipers, we automatically assume we will be in a right relationship with our Creator and expect our worship experience to have a spiritual impact. What we so easily forget is our sin. Our own fallen nature is what we forget when we worship such a holy God. Thankfully, Christ is our mediator who has made our relationship right with our God, yet we must not forget a very important Person in our worship: the Holy Spirit. In order to worship our holy Father with our whole hearts, we must start in the Spirit and end in the Spirit. We also must remind ourselves of the truth: what we know to be true about worshiping our God. Therefore, we must start and end in spirit and in truth.
--------------------------------
Worship Journal Entry #3
9.25.10
Tonight, two of my roommates didn’t know what to do. Of course, homework is always an option, but they wanted to take a break; it was Friday night, after all! Then one of them suggested something that might have seemed silly at the moment, but truly inspired me. She said: “Why don’t we pray?!” Then I observed and joined in the sweetest prayer: “Dear God, you know that we want to do something, we just don’t know what! Could you please help us to find something to do so we can enjoy our evening? Amen.” What an inspiration.
We all know we can talk to God at any time, but do we really take advantage of this access every chance we get? We should not be afraid of telling God what’s going on in our lives. He already knows, but to verbally admit it shows our love, adoration, and surrender to His will and plan for us.
“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” -Hebrews 4:16
------------------------------
Worship Journal Entry #4
10.1.10
Who may we look to for an example of true worship? Sure, Paul is a good one, but he too was a sinful man like us all. What about Jesus Christ? His life was a literal living example of proclaiming the gospel, for after all, He is the center of the gospel.
When I was reading Tozer this week, I noticed an interesting point he brought up: people are fascinated by Jesus. Even Nietzsche who denied Him could not get over Christ and His persona. But it isn’t His outward appearance that still captures our attention even two thousand years later. The Bible makes it clear that He was a typical man with no particular physical attractiveness. Tozer puts it this way: “We may well say that when the eternal Son had taken on the form of a man, only His soul was beautiful.” He stuns us although we have not seen Him in person. Why? Because of His passion. Because of His mission. Because of His example.
One thing I’ve noticed as I walk through life is the friends I have. People who I truly want to be around aren’t necessarily people who are good-looking on the outside. They are people who desire God most on the inside and that alone makes them appealing. What I long for in my life is to be so dedicated to worshipping my Savior that I am naturally beautiful inside. I want attractiveness that points to Christ; I want a beauty that could only come from heaven and that shows the world where my heart and home is.
---------------------------
Worship Journal Entry #5
10.6.10
I went to visit a Catholic mass this week for an assignment in Worship studies this week. It was an interesting experience and I didn’t know what to expect, but I was excited to see how other people prefer to worship. I was surprised to find that it wasn’t very different from the way my own home church worships. The congregation is corporately involved in reciting scripture, creeds, taking communion, and confessing sins. Although the beliefs and motives behind these practices might be different than my home church, as a congregation, we all participate in these same acts of worship every Sunday. Some tend to blow off the Catholic church and its practices, but if you are willing to take a harder look, you might be able to find the traditions of Roman Catholicism true to the Word of God.
-----------------------------
Worship Journal Entry #6
10.10.10
For an assignment, I was reading chapter 3 in a book titled “Experience God in Worship”. As a follow-up to my previous entry, I found it a fascinating chapter. The main subject was liturgical worship. The author points out that maybe the fad of spontaneity in the modern church is not what is truly desired in the heart of the worshiper. Maybe this spontaneity and “looseness” in modern worship has replaced the awe and reverence that traditional methods present. Traditionally, people left a worship service with a great sense of wonder and mystery for their Creator. In comparison, modern day worship has led to an intellectual experience that causes us to think about our behavior rather than our heart and love for God. Would it be helpful to study and learn from the examples and reasons behind traditional worship?
9.8.10
This past weekend I had the opportunity of attending my home church’s family camp. It was a wonderful time of fellowship and growing together in oneness in our Savior. During one session, my pastor talked about being missional in purpose. Being missional in our worship is the key. Why do we worship? So we can spread the Gospel through our proclamation of His glory! The Bible did not create the mission of the Gospel, but through the Gospel’s mission emerged the Bible. The Bible aids us in helping us to know what true worship is like.
Through the mission came the Bible, through the Bible came instruction on how to worship, and through worship, we spread the Gospel which is the mission.
----------------------------------
Worship Journal Entry #2
9.17.10
In Worship Studies class the other day, we talked about what is blocking us from seeing what true worship is. One thing my teacher, Mr. Shuholm, pointed out was the term: “assumed intimacy.” When we go to church as worshipers, we automatically assume we will be in a right relationship with our Creator and expect our worship experience to have a spiritual impact. What we so easily forget is our sin. Our own fallen nature is what we forget when we worship such a holy God. Thankfully, Christ is our mediator who has made our relationship right with our God, yet we must not forget a very important Person in our worship: the Holy Spirit. In order to worship our holy Father with our whole hearts, we must start in the Spirit and end in the Spirit. We also must remind ourselves of the truth: what we know to be true about worshiping our God. Therefore, we must start and end in spirit and in truth.
--------------------------------
Worship Journal Entry #3
9.25.10
Tonight, two of my roommates didn’t know what to do. Of course, homework is always an option, but they wanted to take a break; it was Friday night, after all! Then one of them suggested something that might have seemed silly at the moment, but truly inspired me. She said: “Why don’t we pray?!” Then I observed and joined in the sweetest prayer: “Dear God, you know that we want to do something, we just don’t know what! Could you please help us to find something to do so we can enjoy our evening? Amen.” What an inspiration.
We all know we can talk to God at any time, but do we really take advantage of this access every chance we get? We should not be afraid of telling God what’s going on in our lives. He already knows, but to verbally admit it shows our love, adoration, and surrender to His will and plan for us.
“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” -Hebrews 4:16
------------------------------
Worship Journal Entry #4
10.1.10
Who may we look to for an example of true worship? Sure, Paul is a good one, but he too was a sinful man like us all. What about Jesus Christ? His life was a literal living example of proclaiming the gospel, for after all, He is the center of the gospel.
When I was reading Tozer this week, I noticed an interesting point he brought up: people are fascinated by Jesus. Even Nietzsche who denied Him could not get over Christ and His persona. But it isn’t His outward appearance that still captures our attention even two thousand years later. The Bible makes it clear that He was a typical man with no particular physical attractiveness. Tozer puts it this way: “We may well say that when the eternal Son had taken on the form of a man, only His soul was beautiful.” He stuns us although we have not seen Him in person. Why? Because of His passion. Because of His mission. Because of His example.
One thing I’ve noticed as I walk through life is the friends I have. People who I truly want to be around aren’t necessarily people who are good-looking on the outside. They are people who desire God most on the inside and that alone makes them appealing. What I long for in my life is to be so dedicated to worshipping my Savior that I am naturally beautiful inside. I want attractiveness that points to Christ; I want a beauty that could only come from heaven and that shows the world where my heart and home is.
---------------------------
Worship Journal Entry #5
10.6.10
I went to visit a Catholic mass this week for an assignment in Worship studies this week. It was an interesting experience and I didn’t know what to expect, but I was excited to see how other people prefer to worship. I was surprised to find that it wasn’t very different from the way my own home church worships. The congregation is corporately involved in reciting scripture, creeds, taking communion, and confessing sins. Although the beliefs and motives behind these practices might be different than my home church, as a congregation, we all participate in these same acts of worship every Sunday. Some tend to blow off the Catholic church and its practices, but if you are willing to take a harder look, you might be able to find the traditions of Roman Catholicism true to the Word of God.
-----------------------------
Worship Journal Entry #6
10.10.10
For an assignment, I was reading chapter 3 in a book titled “Experience God in Worship”. As a follow-up to my previous entry, I found it a fascinating chapter. The main subject was liturgical worship. The author points out that maybe the fad of spontaneity in the modern church is not what is truly desired in the heart of the worshiper. Maybe this spontaneity and “looseness” in modern worship has replaced the awe and reverence that traditional methods present. Traditionally, people left a worship service with a great sense of wonder and mystery for their Creator. In comparison, modern day worship has led to an intellectual experience that causes us to think about our behavior rather than our heart and love for God. Would it be helpful to study and learn from the examples and reasons behind traditional worship?
Monday, October 4, 2010
Self
At this point in time, I have only told three people about this "blog".
My best friend, my brother, and a dear sister in Christ.
Why? It is more for myself. Honestly, who wants to read about me and what I'm going through? Although I try to make my posts point to my glorious Savior, it is still about me. What I am going through at the moment, as selfish as that is, it is true.
I somewhat regret not taking a record of my last year in school. It was a year I have referred to as "The Best, Worst Year of my Life." Why? Too hard to explain in a few short sentences. But God is good all the time, and all the time, God is SO good! Amen!
This semester, I have some classes that ask me to write.
I have already written a speech giving my testimony, and a handful of journal entries for a study of worship class. I will also be asked to write a definition of worship and a few other projects that will stretch my understanding of God.
Once I edit them up, I'd like to put them on here so maybe later in my life I can look back (for my selfish self) and see how God has given me grace sufficient enough for every breath I take.
If anyone finds themselves reading this right now, I apologize. I'm sure it makes no sense whatsoever ;) Again, this is something I'm doing for myself with selfish motives...yet my prayer and earnest desire is, that if anyone else by chance stumbles across this and wants to read, these words would not be my own. I hope somehow they would point to Yahweh, the only One worthy of honor and glory.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will He keep His anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love towards those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to His children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.
-Psalm 103:8-14
My best friend, my brother, and a dear sister in Christ.
Why? It is more for myself. Honestly, who wants to read about me and what I'm going through? Although I try to make my posts point to my glorious Savior, it is still about me. What I am going through at the moment, as selfish as that is, it is true.
I somewhat regret not taking a record of my last year in school. It was a year I have referred to as "The Best, Worst Year of my Life." Why? Too hard to explain in a few short sentences. But God is good all the time, and all the time, God is SO good! Amen!
This semester, I have some classes that ask me to write.
I have already written a speech giving my testimony, and a handful of journal entries for a study of worship class. I will also be asked to write a definition of worship and a few other projects that will stretch my understanding of God.
Once I edit them up, I'd like to put them on here so maybe later in my life I can look back (for my selfish self) and see how God has given me grace sufficient enough for every breath I take.
If anyone finds themselves reading this right now, I apologize. I'm sure it makes no sense whatsoever ;) Again, this is something I'm doing for myself with selfish motives...yet my prayer and earnest desire is, that if anyone else by chance stumbles across this and wants to read, these words would not be my own. I hope somehow they would point to Yahweh, the only One worthy of honor and glory.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will He keep His anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love towards those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to His children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.
-Psalm 103:8-14
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