Enriched by Grace

I have been meaning to write about this for a while yet, just time keeps on slipping away.

A few weeks ago, I went into town early with my dad to attend a meeting with a group he started a few years ago called the R12 Alliance. It's a group of Christian business people who see their life/careers as their mission field for sharing the Gospel. Some are accountants, self employed, and car salesmen.

As my dad and I stumbled into the hotel and pressed the button in the elevator for the top floor, I blew my nose for the 240th time that morning. Man, it was early, I was hungry, and sick of these allergies. I followed my dad into the Fireside meeting room and saw a bunch of men sitting around a large, square table. Some I recognized or new from church and family. Others I had never seen before in my life.

I spotted a couple chairs opened to my right and proceeded to sit down near the corner by a broad-shouldered man with a large smile. He stood up and introduced himself to me.

Jim began to lead the conversation and I scanned the menu. That chicken fried steak sounded good and my stomach was already turning early this morning.

One of my most recent favorite things to apply in my communication studies is posture. In my speech class last fall, we took a whole day talking about non-verbal communication and what your posture says about yourself.

I took a quick look around the table. Most of the men had their arms crossed in front of them (including myself), which gives off the sense you're not listening...however...sometimes I really just like crossing my arms, so that one can be debatable. Some other men were seated sideways, had one hand on the table in front of them and the other propping up their chin.

But one man stood out. His posture was unlike the others. He was hunched over the table with his arms stretched out in front of him and hands folded together. Every once in a while, he would bring his hands to his chin and close his eyes as if he was praying. Straight in front of him was a large, brown Bible that was well-loved. I couldn't figure out his whole countenance, but I was thinking This guy is a man of God. I don't know exactly what it is about him, but he's allowing God to lead him.

 A few minutes went by and Jim opened for this man to share what had been going on in his life. I don't think anyone was expecting what he was about to share.

Apparently, he got caught in some bad business that basically took everything of his and now the FBI was meeting with him regularly because they figured him a criminal.
His wife left him and got married a few days after the divorce finalized.
He has four adopted kids that mean the world to him, but he hadn't seen them in almost 2 years. They were scheduled to come to Washington to visit, but since the FBI has the right to call him to Detroit anytime, his kids can't fly out to visit.
This large, strong man's face turned bright red and he couldn't stop the tears from pouring.
"I've lost everything. My wife. My kids. I can't sleep and I can't eat. I've lost so much weight. I just don't know what to do."

My appetite dissipated. My heart went out to him. I wanted to grow 3 times bigger, wrap my arms around him, and tell him everything was going to be alright. I just kept praying the rest of the time as the men encouraged through personal testimony and Scripture.

Before we left the conference room, I heard him say:
"I just want to smile again. I can't remember the last time I did."

And that's the story I originally wanted to write.
I wanted to ask whoever would be reading this to pray for him. Please pray for this man's spirits, the the Lord's comfort and peace would surround him.

But that's not the end.
Because I've waited so long to write this, I have more to the story.
I apologize for this lengthy post, but the end is so sweet.

I only work two days a week at my dad's office.
But a few weeks later, this man just so "happened" to walk in while I was there.

He had a smile on his face.
For a moment I wasn't sure if this was the same man. But it was.

I greeted him. He asked for my dad, but he was on the phone.
So I talked to him.

He got to see his kids for the first time in years.
They went to the movies for the first time.
He had life behind his eyes by the grace of God.

Wise counsel was encouraging him to move closer to his kids no matter what the cost,
so the last I heard, he's in Michigan now and I might not see him ever again this side of heaven.

I've never seen someone so down. So brokenhearted.
It is only a testimony of the outstretched arms of Jesus.
I was so worried every night that he might not reside on the earth for another day.

Seeing him with hope now gives me peace.
It doesn't mean I've stopped praying for him, but I've been giving a new prayer.
A prayer of thanksgiving.

Thank you, Lord, for Your protection, grace, and sustaining power.
You never give us more than we are able to stand.

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I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God 

that was given you in Christ Jesus, 

that in every way you were enriched in Him in all speech and all knowledge 

- even as the testimony about Christ was confirmed among you - 

so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift, 

as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

Who will sustain you to the end, 

guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

God is faithful,

by whom you were called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1 Corinthians 1: 4-9 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meet My Friend

I would like to introduce you to a friend of mine.
She's actually quite close to my family and me.
She lives a little drive away, but comes over often because she is my brother's bestest friend.

She loves to cook and be goofy.
She loves to swim and play her piano.
She loves to take pictures and wear feathers in her hair.

But most of all she loves Jesus.
She loves Jesus with her whole heart.

Her name is Emily Joy.
And her name is quite appropriate.

Here is her blog.
Read it.
I can't explain everything that's going on in her life, because it's a ton.
Just imagine horrible pain throughout your body and hundreds of medical tests resulting in a prescription in a radical change of lifestyle and habits.
The LORD has called her worthy to go through this and I am honored to know such a woman so willing to obey His command.

Emily's Blog: Because You Shine

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Dear Emmi,

I thank God whom I serve as I remember you in my prayers night and day. As I remember your tears, I long to see you, that I may be filled with joy. I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother and your mother and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well. For this reason I remind you to fan into flame...the gift of God, which is in you, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. You count it all joy, my sister, when you fall into various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let that steadfastness have its full effect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. Blessed is the daughter of Christ who remains steadfast under trial, for when she has stood the test, she will receive that crown of life which God has promised to those who love Him.

Blue Like Jazz Round 2

So I sat down for a second time to read the book “Blue Like Jazz” by Donald Miller. As I have stated before in my other ‘recollections’ of his writings, I’m not wholly on-board with his theology, but he does give good viewpoints and nuggets worth pondering.
This second time I read a few chapters. They were longer than the others, but had a good story line throughout.
They talked about his experience going to one of the most ‘god-less’ schools in America and how refreshing it was. He talked about meeting people, talking to them, and engaging them in intellectual conversation. He told a few stories, then climaxed with the redemption of a good friend who had turned her back on God. It was a beautiful piece of the book and probably one of the sections I would agree with most.
Miller especially hit on the problem of Christians today who sit in their perfect Christian bubble and don’t live their life among real, thinking people. Christians have stopped thinking and smart people view them as ignorant because they have no apologetic.
It was hard to find specific quotes from the section that stood out to me because you must read it as a whole and that is too much for me to type tonight (and possibly illegal ). But at the end of my section, I found this portion to hit me. Might not hit you in the same way as I, but it certainly has caused me to think about what I love and what I do.

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“And that’s the tricky thing about life, really, that the things we want most will kill us. Tony the Beat Poet read me this ancient scripture recently that talked about loving either darkness or loving light, and how hard it is to love light and how easy it is to love darkness. I think that is true. Ultimately, we do what we love to do. I like to think that I do things for the right reasons, but I don’t, I do things because I do or don’t love doing them. Because of sin, because I am self-addicted, living in the wreckage of the fall, my body, my heart, and my affections are prone to love things that kill me. Tony says Jesus gives us the ability to love the things we should love, the things of Heaven. Tony says that when people who follow Jesus love the right things, they help create God’s kingdom on earth, and that is something beautiful.

“I found myself trying to love the right things without God’s help, and it was impossible. I tried to go one week without thinking a negative thought about another human being, and I couldn’t do it. Before I tried that experiment, I thought I was a nice person, but after trying it, I realized I thought bad things about people all day long, and that, like Tony says, my natural desire was to love darkness.

“My answer to this dilemma was self-discipline. I figured I could just make myself do good things, think good thoughts about other people, but that was no easier than walking up to a complete stranger and falling in love with them. I could go through the motions for a while, but sooner or later my heart would testify to its true love: darkness. Then I would get up and try again. The cycle was dehumanizing.”

(page 77)

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(Sounded to me like Benjamin Franklin’s endeavors.)

Blue Like Jazz Round 1

Some quotes that intrigued me in my first sitting of a “Blue Like Jazz” reading.
The book was written by Donald Miller.
I just finished his “sequel” to this book called “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years” and you can read my review of it here.
I’m not completely on board with his theology per se, but I connect with his writing style and the fact that he looks at the world through a right-brained perspective as I personally do.

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“Some people skip through life; some people are dragged through it…

I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man’s mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God.”

(page 13)

“If you don’t love somebody, it bets annoying when they tell you what to do or what to feel. When you love them you get pleasure from their pleasure, and it makes it easy to serve. I didn’t love God because I didn’t know God.”

(page 14)

“It is hard for us to admit we have a sin nature because we live in this system of checks and balances. If we get caught, we will be punished. But that doesn’t make us good people; it only makes us subdued. Just think about the Congress and Senate and even the president. The genius of the American system is not freedom; the genius of the American system is checks and balances. Nobody gets all the power. Everybody is watching everybody else. It is as if the founding fathers knew, intrinsically, that the soul of man, unwatched, is perverse.”

(page 18)

“I think the devil has tricked us into thinking so much of biblical theology is story fit for kids. How did we come to think the story of Noah’s ark is appropriate for children? Can you imagine a children’s book about Noah’s ark complete with paintings of people gasping in gallons of water, mothers grasping their children while their bodies go flying down white-rapid rivers, the children’s tiny heads being bashed against rocks or hung up in fallen trees? I don’t think a children’s book like that would sell many copies.

I couldn’t give myself to Christianity because it was a religion for the intellectually naive. In order to believe Christianity, you either had to reduce enormous theological absurdities into children’s stories or ignore them. The entire thing seemed very difficult for my intellect to embrace.”

(pages 30 & 31)

Notorious

"After this He went out and saw a tax collector named Levi, sitting at the tax booth.

And He said to him, 'Follow Me.'

And leaving everything, he rose and followed Him.

And Levi made Him a great feast in his house, and there was a large company of tax collectors and others reclining at table with them.

And the Pharisees and their scribes grumbled at His disciples, saying,

'Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?'

And Jesus answered them,

"Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.

I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.'"

~~~~~~Luke 5:27-32~~~~~~

What am I known for?
Do I have a bad reputation because I hang out with the social outcasts and crowds that people don't like?

Jesus did.

He partied with the "unspiritual" ones who the "faithful" ones despised.

These tax collectors and sinners were nasty to them.

Jesus' life orbited around these sinners.

What would Jesus do?

Story

So this is somewhat of a reflection on a book I recently read.
It's called "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" and it was written by Donald Miller.
I wouldn't say this book was "theologically sound," but it was inspiring. Inspiring for someone who is already aware of the ultimate fulfillment found in Christ alone.
The book is the story about Miller's experience of writing a movie script of his life. He realizes he is not a very exciting person and from this endeavor flows a desire to get off the couch, turn off the TV, and live life.
Miller believes in God and in heaven. However, I didn't gather he believes in the sinful nature of man. Sure, this is picky, but I kept waiting for him to get to the punch line that every man is desperately wicked and hope is only found in Christ. Instead, Miller comes to the conclusion of containing a positive attitude about people and that they are "good." Miller does take a small portion to talk about God as the Great Writer of our story, but does not run with that concept.
All in all, this book did inspire me to live a memorable life. To do things different.

I would not use it as a guiding source of knowledge, but it was a pleasant, quick read. Miller is a talented and artistic writer, so you might want to pick it up sometime if you have a few spare hours.

Here are some sections of the book I found interesting that caused me to think:

     "I've wondered, though, if one of the reasons we fail to acknowledge the brilliance of life is because we don't want to be characters in a story because characters have to move and breathe and face conflict with courage. And if life isn't remarkable, then we don't have to do any of that; we can be unwilling victims rather than grateful participants.

     But I've noticed something. I've never walked out of a meaningless movie thinking all movies are meaningless. I only thought the movie I walked out on was meaningless. I wonder, then, if when people say life is meaningless, what they really mean is their lives are meaningless. I wonder if they've chosen to believe their whole existence is unremarkable, and are projecting their dreary life on the rest of us" (page 59, 60).

     "A lot of people think a writer has to live in order to write, has to meet people and have a rich series of experiences or his work will become dull. But that is drivel. It's an excuse a writer uses to take the day off, or the week or the month off for that matter...

     People who live good stories are too busy to write about them. Nobody ever strapped a typewriter to the back of an elephant and wrote a novel while hunting wild game...

     I only say this because part of the reason my life had become uninspiring is I'd sat down to earn a living. Literally, I sat in a chair and typed words. And that's fine, because I like the work, and it pays the rent...I didn't want to live in words anymore; I wanted to live in sweat and pain...

     My desire to live a better story didn't motivate me to do anything...

     Here's the truth about telling stories with your life. It's going to sound like a great idea, and you are going to get excited about it, and then when it comes time to do the work, you're not going to want to do it. It's like that with writing books, and it's like that with life. People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain...

     A general rule in creating stories is that characters don't want to change. They must be forced to change. Nobody wakes up and starts chasing a bad guy or dismantling a bomb unless something forces them to do so. ..

     The rule exists in story because it's a true thing about people. humans are designed to seek comfort and order, and so if the have comfort and order, they tend to plant themselves, even if their comfort isn't all that comfortable. And even if they secretly want for something better" (page 97-100).

Sara

Last fall, a fellow student walked onto the stage of the Psalm Center.
Her name was Sara.
She had what looked like a knee that couldn't bend, short pixie haircut pulled back in a headband, and a beautiful smile that reached to the farthest seat.
Sara was a senior communications student and she was standing in front of us to share her story.

In the summer of 2009, cancer was discovered in her knee.
Many surgeries were performed along with chemotherapy.
She ended up with a titanium knee and hip in October 2009.
Then she went through multiple lung surgeries that winter.

She spoke on how it was so hard.
She wanted to give up and go Home to Jesus.
But it wasn't time yet.
Tears poured down my face as she shared.
She displayed love and obedience to Christ even through this fatiguing battle.

She returned in the fall of 2010 to finish her senior year at Corban University.
I never personally met her, but her positive attitude and contagious smile was encouraging to me when I'd see her around campus.

In January, the student body was notified that the cancer had made a resurgence.
It would not let up this time.
Corban decided to award her an honorary communication degree because of all her hard work and the work of other students who helped to fulfill her remaining community service credits.
A special ceremony was arranged in her living room with the school's president, vice president, and her family.


For a few weeks I hadn't heard an update on how she was doing.
This week,
          finals week,
                     the week before she would graduate,
                                             I got an e-mail from the school.

On Monday night, our prayers were answered.
Sara was completely healed.
This fellow saint was delivered into Jesus' arms to worship Him for the rest of eternity.
She is now dancing and praising Him in the absence of pain.

I don't pity her.
I envy her.
She's in heaven, free of the bonds of this fallen world!

Sometimes I think the church focuses on the earth too much.
Guys!
Let's get excited about heaven!

Sara can do anything now...
Save one thing.

She can't share her story with those still on earth.
She can't share the greatness of the One who carried her through the suffering.
While she was still here, she was faithful to do so

But it's our turn now.
I'm sure she doesn't regret any time she shared the Gospel with someone.
She can't witness now, but we can.
There's no telling what Sara's posthumous testimony can accomplish for the Gospel.

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For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face...

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three;

but the greatest of  these is love...

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,

for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

And let steadfastness have its full effect,

that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing....

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial,

for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life,

which God has promised to those who love Him.

~~~~~~~~1 Corinthians 13:12-13, James 1:2-4, 12~~~~~~~~

One Year Ago Today...

Probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Yet one of the most joyous one as well.

• Saying "goodbye" "See Y'all Later" to some of my most beloved friends and favorite people in the world.
• Squealing "EEEEEEEEK" and waving my hands back and forth with Stina because of Wiebe.
• Oh ya, I forgot a sliver of that heart...

I'll never forget the times I spent as a student at Jackson Hole Bible College.
The good, the bad, and sometimes even the ugly.
I learned so much more than how to study Greek, Hebrew, Church History, and Romans.
I learned how to live.
How to work hard and play harder (Mr. Pellerin).
How to love, laugh, cry, and grow.

Some of my dearest memories include, but are not limited to...

• Late night euchre
• Settler weekends with Tim, Shannon, Tom, and Izze
• Teaching P.E. to a dozen wonderful young ladies
• Hiking and skiing the pass
• Shuttling the sick and maimed to the E.R.
• Playing music at church
• Long road trips (18 hour bus ride! Ya!)
• Creating the perfect woman...
• Blowing up water bottles in the guy's dorm - that I definitely didn't enter ;)
• REPRESENT! JESUS!
• Work days and country music
• "What about Mars?!" complete with customized tees
• I'M WEARING GREEN, YOU'RE WEARING GREEN, WE'RE ALL WEARING GREEN...I LOVE GREEN!!!!!!
• Dancing the night away with Dance Master Caleb
• "I'll tell you when you're older..."
• Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, Phlegmatic 
• "Shiprolouse!"

Mr. BAM Bot also lovingly gave a speech at graduation that pretty much sums up the school year.

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"O LORD, You have searched me and known me!

You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

You discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before, and lay You hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;

it is high;

I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from Your Spirit?

Or where shall I flee from You presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

If I make my bed in Sheol, You are there!

If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

even there You hand shall lead me, and You right hand shall hold me...

For You formed my inward parts;

You knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are You works;

my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you, When I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes say my unformed substance;

in Your book were written,

every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

How precious to me are Your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

If I would count them, they are more than the sand.

I awake, and I am still with You...

Search me, O God, and know my heart!

Try me and know my thoughts!

And see if there be any grievous way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting!

~~~~~~~~~Psalm 139:1-10, 13-18, 23-24~~~~~~~~~

Airport

Hmmmm
Just sitting here waiting for my flight to Wenatchee...YAY!
It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about home.
I can't explain it.

I might be in Seattle, but once I stepped off that plane and breathed in some Washington air,
I knew I was home.
I can breathe freely here.
Maybe it was because it was the first time in days I was outside and rain didn't fall on me.
Or maybe it was that awareness deep down inside that I am almost home.

Maybe I'll be able to put it into words as I think about it some more.
But I've also discovered that sometimes words can be

unecessary,
not enough,
or too much.

Keep it simple.
Pouring too much into something can take away it's raw beauty.

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I perceived that whatever God does endures forever;

nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it.

God has done it, so that people fear before Him.

That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been;

and God seeks what has been driven away...

Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty

to utter a word before God,

for God is in heaven and you are on earth.

Therefore let your words be few...

Whatever has come to be has already been named,

and it is known what man is,

and that he is not able to dispute with one stronger than he.

The more words, the more vanity,

and what is the advantage to man?...

In the day of prosperity be joyful, and in the day of adversity consider:

God has made the once as well as the other,
so that man may not find out anything that will be after him.

~~~~~~~~~Ecclesiastes 3:14-15, 5:2, 6:10-11, 7:14~~~~~~~~~

Commission

    The 18-year-old American was scheduled to head home in 48 hours, and only 50 miles away, terrorist attacks killed 64 World Cup viewers in Uganda’s capital. Then multiple flights were delayed, and she was separated from her traveling partner. The previous five weeks had felt safe until now. Her orderly plans turned to utter chaos in just a few short hours.
    Hailing from Little Rock, Ark., Mariah Fowler travelled to the other side of the world so she could spend over a month serving orphans in Uganda, Africa. She might look like an average teenager on the outside with her long chestnut hair, sophisticated apparel and wide smile, but on the inside she has a great passion for less fortunate children in Africa. This passion seemed to grow each day, and after stumbling upon a Ugandan orphanage’s website, Fowler begged her parents to let her go.
    “After seeing the pictures on the website, I said, ‘Oh my goodness, I got to go!” she recalls.
    It took four years for her to see that dream come to fruition. In the fall of 2009, the Fowler family decided this was the year Fowler was ready. Jane and Emmitt (Fowler’s parents) were initially more reserved about their daughter’s desire to go to Africa because she would be going by herself to work in an orphanage.
    “All the groups that went to Africa were only at the orphanages a couple days,” she explains. “I wanted to do orphan’s work. I wanted to stay at an orphanage and not have to go out to anything else.”
    Fowler says the original urge to go was a “want,” but now it had become a “need.”
    So Fowler began fund-raising. She set a goal to raise $4,400 in two months, and she raised full support in two months and one day.
    “It was really cool to see how God brought the money in to the day,” she says.
    Aside from sending letters and asking for support for her trip, Fowler asked people to donate items for a yard sale where the proceeds would go towards her trip.
    “Oh my goodness,” she says. “I had enough stuff for four yard sales.”
    Nearly all of the items ranged from 50 cents to a few dollars in price, and the most expensive was a $15 DVD player. She can tell story after story about how someone would only buy a few dollars worth, but then hand her an extra $20. Unusual for Little Rock, steady streams of people rushed through the event from 6:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. At the end of the day, Fowler had raised $900.
    “I was like ‘Who makes $900 dollars at a yard sale?’!” she recollects, “It was totally, totally cool.”
    This was not the first time Fowler says she had seen God work in extraordinary ways. When she was 12 years old, living in Richmond, Va., she experienced a first-hand example of the power of prayer. Her dad was employed at a Christian radio station and then joined Family Life staff which meant the family had to raise support in order to move to Little Rock, Ark.
    “We set a date to have all the funds in,” she says.
    On the last day, they were short a commitment of $50 per month.
    “My dad prayed for the money to come from someone out of the blue, someone we never would have thought of,” she says.
    That afternoon, a pastor who her dad met the previous fall called. The pastor had previously ignored all the Fowler’s attempts for contact and support, but now he told them his church felt led to give them $50 a month.
    Little did the Fowlers know, that church would never follow through in support. But oddly enough, some other friends called that night to pledge $50 each month.
    “Even before we knew what was going to happen, God still answered that prayer on that day,” she says. “To see God answer so specifically was so amazing.”
    With experiences like this under her belt, Fowler wasn’t about to let small hiccups in fundraising get in her way of serving. The calm, cheery, and delightful Fowler says she could talk “til next Tuesday” about her Ugandan adventure. Her dreamy and optimistic personality makes her ready and willing for any adventure. Unlike her older brother, Aaron, and younger sister, Bethany, Fowler describes her personality as “very adventurous.”
    “I like meeting new people, traveling, and seeing new places,” she says.
    Fowler’s confident disposition would certainly come in handy on the adventure she was about to take half way around the world.
    But why Africa? Why Uganda? Out of all the other places in the world with orphans, why there?
    “What drew me to Uganda was my family’s Compassion sponsor child,” she says.
    For the past three years, the Fowlers sponsored a young boy named Kanwangi through Compassion International. Mariah had a strong desire to meet Kanwangi face-to-face, but didn’t know if she could.
    “I wanted to go see him, but didn’t know where he lived or anything like that,” she says. “I didn’t want to tell him I wanted to see him because I didn’t want him to be disappointed if I couldn’t.”
    After buying plane tickets and solidifying the trip, she received a letter from him that said: “Greeting from your friend Kanwangi. I love you so much. I am praying that you will come and visit me in my country Uganda.”
    “It made me cry,” she says. “He never said anything about us coming or anything about that before in the whole three years we sponsored him. He is praying and has no idea what I’m hoping to do!”
    What Fowler would later title one of the best moments of her life was spent with Kanwangi and his family, which consisted of his mother and nine other siblings. She spent the day with them; at school, then home. Earlier in the day, Kanwangi told Fowler he was going to give her his soccer ball, unaware she had bought him a brand new one. She gave the family little items and after each one she handed to them, Kanwangi gave her a big hug saying “Thank you so much. God bless you.”
    “It was so amazing to see his joy despite his circumstances,” she says.
    The time came for Mariah to give Kanwangi the ball.
    “He was so excited. He jumped up. His eyes got huge,” she recalls.
    Then he gave her his old ball. It was tiny. Made out of plastic trash. He had woven banana fibers to make it come together.
    “It was so cool how even before he knew I was giving him a new [ball], he was willing to give me his only toy,” she says. “I got to see his heart and sacrificial giving.”
    Before the chaotic travel back to the states, Fowler was also able to go on an African safari on the Nile River, which was also a highlight of her trip.
    It doesn’t take long to admire this young woman with the colossal heart for orphans. Christina Jackson of Pittsburgh, Pa., was a close friend of Fowler’s older brother, Aaron, in college. After hearing of each other long distance, Jackson and Fowler finally had a chance to meet at the college’s graduation last spring. They only had a few short days to get to know each other, but Jackson confidently describes Fowler’s character as “committed, kind, feeling” and “heartfelt.”
    Even those who have been close and dear to Fowler her whole life see a gem whose future is full of possibilities.
    “She has such a heart for God, children, orphans, and little kids,” her older brother Aaron says. “I’m excited to see what God’s going to do with her because she’s pretty awesome.”

###

This was a personality profile assignment for my journalism class.

I have only scratched the surface of this amazing woman's life...

There is so much more to tell, yet little space to do so.

It is also worth mentioning her construction of a collaboration blog for young women:

Check out Radical Love!

 Thanks, Mariah, for sharing your story.

I can't wait to see what the rest of your future holds.

Loves to you, sister <3

Periwinkle Pansy

Here is an e-mail I just received from my precious, dear, dear Nana.
I'm putting this up not to brag about myself, but to display the blessing SHE is to me.
Her love is so amazing...she always says:
"Oh darling, it's all about LOVE....LOVE....LOVE!!!!...!!!...!!.."
And boy, does she love with her whole heart.

The Pansy is for YOU! My Periwinkle Girl !

I was thinking about something I wrote about a Pansy a long time ago..... I wish I could find it. It went something like this.

The delicate transparency of a Pansy's  petals are as fragile as  the wings of a Butterfly....and yet...they can withstand the bitter cold of snow and the heat of a hot summer ray..

but no matter what may come their way.....each and every morning their sweet little face smiles at you to brighten your day!

You are like a Pansy, Sweetheart! You have kept on smiling through this year, when you really wanted to be home. Your precious spirit and smile continue to brighten all that is around you. You have held your little face to the 'Son'....and kept on keeping on! I am so Blessed by You!...and I am so very Proud of You for doing such an Amazing job of School when your heart was here.

So....Now I have a new name for you......"My Periwinkle Pansy"!!

I Love YOU.... Your Nana

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been crucified with Christ.

It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.

And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God,

who loved me and gave Himself for me.

I do not nullify the grace of God, for if righteousness were through the law,

then Christ died for no purpose...

But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ,

by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

~~~~~~~~~Galatians 2:20, 21; 6:14~~~~~~~~~ 

Fulfillment

What is the first thing that comes to mind when waking up in the morning?
I'll admit.
As a college student heading towards the tail end of a semester, here's what runs through mine:

So, when's the next time I can take a nap? How can I fit some sleep in today?

I'm not sure that's a promising way to launch my day.
Maybe I should be asking another question:

Lord, how can I be a part of advancing Your kingdom today? Can you please give me an opportunity to share the gospel to someone?

You know the feeling after working out?
The feeling that not only makes your body feel good,
But the sensation deep down that seems to nourish your soul.
In a way, the spirit receives a better service than the physical body.
It makes you want to do it again.

What if sharing the gospel was that way?
After you get over the initial intimidation,
A rush comes and just like that feeling after working out,
You want to do it again.
And again.
And again.

Here's a fair warning:
When putting the Great Commission into practice,
it has been known to fill the spirit with more joy and fulfillment than ever imagined.
Be prepared to receive more satisfaction than the subject of your investment.

So what's my excuse?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this:

that one has died for all, therefore all have died;

and He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves

but for Him who for their sake died and was raised.

From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh.

Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard Him thus no longer.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
The old has passed away; behold the new has come.
All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to Himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation;
that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to Himself,
not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.
Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making His appeal through us.
We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin,
so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.
~~~~~~~~~~ 2 Corinthians 5:14-21 ~~~~~~~~~~

Rescue

Wow, it has been a long time since writing.
I've had some great ideas, really! Stay tuned!
Maybe it takes a birthday's eve to get my rear in gear ;)
So I sit here, thinking about where I was one year ago:

"This is your song!!!" Exclaimed my roomie, Stina.
She shoved a headphone into my ear as I slightly made out the lyrics:
"She's 18 and a beauty queen..."
Aweeee, that was sweet...no really, I'm not a beauty queen, but it was the 18 part I guess that made it work.
That night, we slept under the stars on a sandbar by a river in Utah.
It was great.
I wondered what the coming year would bring as my 17th one came to a close.

Come to find out, so much did happen.
When I left Wyoming, I forgot a little portion of my heart.
But that's ok, because others helped to mend it.
Then I left my true home.
In search of a dream.
Not sure what it was.
Maybe because everyone else was doing it.
Maybe because God had a roundabout way to get me where He wanted me.

Yup.
That was it.

I was supposed to be a music major...right?
Nope.
But He showed that to me.
Praise be His name.

I was supposed to go to a perfect, private, Christian school...right?
Not exactly.
Well, maybe for a year.
He showed me that too.
Thank you, Jesus.

More unknowns than ever before lay in front of me this time.
I'm about to start something new.
Something fresh.
Seems like that's always the case...but as long as that's where He's leading me, I can't argue :)

Going in circles can be confusing sometimes.
But then I realize:
It's not circles to Him!

Last time I thought I knew where I was going.
I always think I know.


Joy and gratefulness pours from my heart as I think about the encouragement I've received from family and friends these past few months.
It has not been anywhere near easy.
For once, I have been in a place where hope and joy were hard to find.
There have been many days where I had to try to smile!
Smiling was hard!

Some posts over the last few months have had quite the emo aura to them.
My apologies.
I once heard Jon Foreman say something to the effect of:
"You don't write when you're having a great time...you write when you're sad."

Yet His grace is enough.
I get bad attitudes.
But He still pours His love upon me.
Just when I'm about to give up, He rescues me.
Thank you Jesus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And I was dead in my trespasses and sins in which I once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air...

But God,

 being rich in mercy,

because of His great love with which He loved me,

even when I was dead in my trespasses,

made me alive...

It is by grace I have been saved.

I haven't done anything because it is God's gift to me.

I can't even boast about this because I am

His

workmanship created in Christ Jesus.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~Ephesians 2:1-10, kinda~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sleepless in Salem

Ahhhh, the sun.
Hold on.
How can your stationary constant's aura so greatly differ?

I remember your warm blanket.
The coziness.
The serenity.
The relaxation.
Of your voluntary presence.

When you show your face, I no longer see a smile.
Only a hostile glance.
An unsettled confidence.
And anxiety for change.
As your ghost of brevity withers away.

Vulnerability is good when met with loving reply.
Yet you leave the unprotected confined in doubt.

Oh where have you gone?
Your tricks and tease are lifeless.
The dull games you play only dispirit a soul.

Can't you reveal your genuineness?
This temporary concealment has intention, for it pulls me in the direction of my heart.

"No longer will there be anything accursed,
but the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and His servants will worship Him.
They will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads.
And night will be no more.
They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light,
and they will reign forever and ever."
Revelation 22:3-5

Tribute

This was a speech I wrote last semester for a special occasion. Who would have thought that when I gave this, I could barely finish. Tears welled up in my eyes and I could scarcely spit out the words. My mother is a true blessing in my life. I love her so much :)

     They always say you know you’re Portuguese when every Sunday after church you spend three hours in line at the bakery waiting for fresh bread. Well, OK, we didn’t always wait three hours, but it seemed like forever. Regina Christina Tacheira Gross is my 5-foot-1-inch caring, considerate, and captivating mother. The Portugee blood that runs through her is determined for her family to eat good bread, gain a good education, and have a good home.
     The food that comes from my mother’s kitchen is heavenly. Her cooking satisfies and nurses even the most hollow stomach back to life. But she hasn’t always been such a sensational cook, or so I’ve been told. Before her and my dad officially tied the knot, she wanted to make sure they were clear on a few things:
“I can’t cook.” She emphatically told my dad.
“Well,” he thought for a moment, “You can read, can’t you?”
“Of course I can!” She smarted back.
“Then you can cook!”
     The rest is history; every night since he has come home to a sweet, aroma-filled house of food. When she was only 16, my mom quit high school and decided to move out on her own. She never graduated, she never went to college, and she never expected to meet my dad. Little did she know that only in a few short years, God would call her to educate four of her children. The woman with no education is still educating me.
     My mother’s childhood wasn’t what most of us consider pleasant. Rather than taking the sadness from her life and passing it down to her family, she constantly strives to show us how much she loves us. Whenever I’m feeling down and need encouragement, her love comforts me like a warm blanket on a frigid winter morning.
     Most importantly, my mother has shown me how to be a servant of the Lord. She is careful to make sure others are attended to before herself. Her daily sacrifices are not only an example, but one of my greatest blessings. My mother’s lifestyle instructs louder than her words.  In a crowd, she shines Jesus. When she’s alone, she shines Jesus. Her entire heart shines Jesus.

Ruminate

I'm pretty sure last fall, my school made us read Genesis 1-20 about 30 times, if not more. I was reading it once again the other day and found something I have never noticed before: happens every time.
It was the popular narrative we all know of as Abraham and Isaac. After years of waiting for a promised son, God provides Isaac's birth to Abraham and Sarah. Yet the story doesn't end there. God tests Abraham by commanding him to offer Isaac as a burnt sacrifice.

Abraham obeys.

Well, he would have unless God intervened by providing an animal to take Isaac's place.

So much symbolism goes on in this passage to parallel the ultimate, Great Redemption, but a couple new (to me) interesting observations caught my eye:

Three Days-
It took three days to arrive at the high point of this account. If you read fast, you don't catch it, but Abraham had it set in his mind that his promised son would die. For three days Isaac was essentially dead to Abraham. Three days. Ring any bells?

"Your son, your only son" is said three times. It feels like when God says this to Abraham that He's just rubbing salt in the wound...and to say it three times?! But it also seems as though God is saying He understands. He understands that Isaac is Abraham's only son. He understands what the problem at hand is. And in Abraham's own words: "the LORD will provide."

In verse 5 of chapter 22, Abraham uses the word "worship". If I'm not mistaken, this is the first time the word "worship" is used in the Bible. Wow. Abraham is referring to killing his son as worship! Maybe my next observation will tie it together...

Yet again we see another first: "love." When God says "your son, your only son," He does not stop there. He adds: "whom you love." Abraham's obedience is not to be accounted for because he did not admire his son, in fact, quite the opposite! Abraham loved his son greatly, but he loved one thing greater: God. There was nothing that would stop Abraham from obedient worship of the One he loved most.

One other thing along the lines of symbolism and firsts: In this passage, "love" is used for the first time and it is used to describe a relationship between a father and his son.

Once again...hear any bells ringing?

Sure, Abraham was a human and messed up with a sinful nature like we all are. But oh how I long for the obedience and faith Abraham exhibits here.

Intention

So many times I have often pondered the meaning behind the lyrics in the songs I innately participate in singing and playing at church and chapel.
Are the words that come out of my mouth truthful?
Is this what my heart truly desires to proclaim not only to the world, but to God?

We have some strong, powerful, modern day worship tunes out there. We hear them on the radio, we sing them at church and youth group, but are the phrases we proclaim genuine?

I looked up some of the most popular worship songs and their lyrics.
As I carefully read through the lyrics, I was convicted. They reminded me of just how awesome my God really is! These lyrics also prompted me to ask questions in examination of myself. This reminded my heart to be focused and intentional.

I also looked up verses to go with these songs. Wow! So hard to pick only a select few! Don't take these modern-day psalm writers for word, look it up yourself. These truths are everywhere in Scripture. I found so much more than I expected - and trust me, there are plenty more out there ;)

Mighty to Save
Everyone needs compassion...
Everyone needs forgiveness...
My Savior, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save...
Shine your light and let the whole world see.

•  Everyone. Everyone is lost. Everyone is born separated from God. Everyone needs compassion. Forgiveness. Who can get them out? Only the Savior, for He is mighty to save. When I sing this, do I truly believe this? Do I live my life in such a way that proclaims His compassion for people, His forgiveness of sins, and His saving grace?
• Psalm 67:2-3, Romans 1:16

The Stand
So I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
So I'll stand my soul Lord to you surrendered
All I am is Yours.

•  I'll be the first to admit: raising my hands (let alone arms) during worship does not come natural to me. Whether in song, prayer, or any other form of worship, I am used to steady, unmovable, and static-ness. Recently I have been challenged and stretched in this area. At first it was uncomfortable and hard to get used to, but as I study more about worship in the Bible and especially posture (in communication theory), there is something about having an open stance that says "Here I am Lord, do what you want with me. Hey! Do you see me here? I ain't much, but I'm giving you my all."
• Psalm 28:2, 63:4, 134:2, Lamentations 3:41, 1 Timothy 2:8

You're Worthy of My Praise
I will give You all my worship
I will give You all my praise.
You alone I long to worship.
You alone are worthy of my praise.

• How many things do I praise in a day? "The food was amazing!" "You're a great speaker!" "I just love that song!" "My weekend was epic!" Sure, these are wonderful things we are able to enjoy and thank God for as we rightly should. But how many times are we praising the created rather than the Creator who made it all possible in the first place? He alone is worthy of my ultimate praise. His praise is what should fill time in my day.
• Psalm 18:3, Revelation 4:11

In Christ Alone
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, and my song.

• This one is obvious and simple. Easier said than done, right? Is Christ the ultimate hope, light, strength, and song in my life? What do I need to eliminate that distracts me from finding peace and comfort in Him alone?
• Psalm 62, 1 Peter 5:10, John 8:12

Revelation Song
Filled with wonder, awestruck wonder
At the mention of Your name.
Jesus, Your name is power,
Breath and living water
Such a marvelous mystery.

• The name of the Lord is not to be taken lightly. He is so jealous of it. His name is holy. So simple, yet so important. Am I filled with awestruck wonder when someone mentions my Savior? When I hear His name, does my countenance lift? 
• Isaiah 6:3, Revelation 4, Exodus 20:7, Leviticus 22:2b, 24:16, Psalm 8:9

Your Grace is Enough
God I see Your grace is enough

•  Do I see it? Do I live a life that screams out loud God's grace upon such a sinner as I? So often I take His overwhelming grace for granted. Is His undeserved favor truly enough for me to live on?
• John 1:16, Acts 20:24, Romans 5:2, 2 Corinthians 12:9

Here I am to Worship
Here I am to Worship, here I am to bow down,
Here I am to say that You're my God.

• Again, posture. Here I am to bow down. "Isn't that like a sign of submission or something?" Why yes it is. Just to bow down before Him in acknowledgment that He alone is God is so hard to do sometimes with this stubborn nature!
• Psalm 95:6, Nehemiah 8:6

Blessed be Your Name
Every blessing You pour out I turn back to praise.
When the darkness closes in, Lord still I will say
Blessed be the Name of the Lord.

•  Do I really turn back to bless the name of the Lord when dark times surround me? Ha, I wish I was that faithful! When He gracefully blesses me, do I turn and give all the credit back to Him? Ya right! Once again, easy song to sing...hard to follow through.
• Job 1:21, Psalm 23:4, 34:2, Jeremiah 9:23-25, Nehemiah 9:5b

Care

The other day I was reading through the flood account in Genesis.

Some complain about the lack of information the Bible gives, but the truth is, God gives us all we need to know and then some! He paints pictures in such great detail, yet He didn't have to tell us squat!

He tells us what happened (6:1-4)
He tells us what the problem is (6:5)
He tells us what He saw and how He felt (6:6)
He also explains who is involved and how serious the issue was!

He didn't have to describe how Noah knew exactly what to do.
He didn't have to clarify exactly where the water came from (7:11-12).
He didn't have to tell us what He "said in His heart" (8:21).
He didn't have to explain the reason for rainbows (9:12-17).

But He did.
Why?
 Only out of true love would someone take so much time in making sure the recipient understands what happened.

We are the recipients of the largest and greatest love letters of all time!
Take time to read it. Pour over it with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might.
I assure you, each time you will discover a new treasure of incalculable worth.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul;
the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple;
the precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart;
the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes;
the fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever;
the rules of the LORD are true, and righteous altogether.
More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold;
sweeter also than honey and dripping of the honeycomb.
Moreover, by them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward."
------------------------------Psalm 19:7-11------------------------------------

Scab

Ever feel like you're in the "scab" phase of life?

Everything was going well until a sudden wound.
Something small as a paper cut, splinter, or tiny scratch.
Or maybe a large fall on some sharp rocks left a mark.

At first, you might not have noticed the injury.
But its presence will make itself known in a matter of time.

Pain.
Regret.
Wonder.
Then your reaction to begin the mending process.

Once a Band-Aid or Neosporin has been applied, everything inside that once was screaming with pain now rests at ease in the hope of healing.

But healing isn't over.

Almost immediately, your wonderfully created body takes over to begin renewal.
After nearly forgetting the wound, you begin to feel it once again.

Irritation.
Itching.
Tingling.
A scab has formed and it's taking everything in you not to rip it open.

What is the key?
Patience.

Patience in the faith of your body's healing abilities.
Easier said than done.

This ugly scab is now threatening your relationship with the healing wound.
If you give in to its torment, a permanent sign will forever mar,
But if you endure with the faith in the hope of future restoration, I promise you this:
Regret will not be a notion as you look back on the journey it took you to get to reinstated beauty.

---------------------------
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of thins not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the Word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible...[And all these people] through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escape the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection. Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated - of whom the world was not worthy - wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth. And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect...Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Do not grow weary. Consider Him Who endured from sinners such hostility against Himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted."

Hebrews 11:1-3, 11:33-40, 12:1-3

Bother

No, I did not miss the "R" in my title although my brother is pretty cool ;)
"Bother" is a word that simply means taking the trouble to do something.

In order to do something, I must be motivated. After all, why bother with something if I am uninspired?

Sure, people do things all the time with little to no enthusiasm. But in order to accomplish something significant, usually a drive or purpose behind the act is present.

What motivates me?
Personal financial, popularity, or status gain?
The ambition to make the world a better place?

These might be fair reasons to be excited about achieving something, but what should be the overarching cause for tenacity?
The spread of the gospel?
Lifting up high the name of the One Who has called me out of darkness and into His marvelous light?

One day, I was in a conversation with a group of Christian girls who wanted to join a club which purpose is to go out and evangelize to homeless people.
The fire was evident and excitement built as they conversed about the opportunity.
I felt my heart sink to my shoes as one girl explained the reason she wanted to participate:
"As bad as this sounds, one of the main reasons I want to get into this is because I'll get a credit for community service and it will look good on my resume!"

Really?

Is a good grade and another line on my resume the reason I do anything?

Oh God, I pray, let it never be so!

Lord, I admit the reasons I do things are rarely in-line with your solid Word. Please help me to see Your glory as my number one goal and drive. Allow my life exclaim Your glory to the world. No strings attached.

In a previous post, I said the only thing I regret from this past year was the opportunities I missed to engage people in conversation about the gospel.

God, please saturate my life with You.

Why bother?
Because someone else bothered for me and He bothered His life away for the world.
-------------------------------------------

"Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."
2 Corinthians 10:17